Peel away strips of cucumber skin, leaving even amounts between. This step is optional but makes for a nice presentation.

Slice cucumber into 1/4 inch slices, and lay flat, drying slightly with a clean paper towel. You’ll want to remove any liquid to have a good surface for cream cheese.

In a bullet blender, add cream cheese and capers with juice, blending until smooth. Remove and place into a piping bag, piping an even circle onto each cucumber slice.

Top cucumber bites with smoked salmon, paper-thin slices of red onion, and bagel seasoning. Additional toppings could include scallions, crumbled bacon or dehydrated onions.

Recently I was crying on the inside (probably also on the outside, but let’s pretend I’m not that absurd, shall we?) at the lack of bagels with lox in my life. I missed that salty, crunchy taste explosion when cream cheese meets salmon meets capers meets onions. It’s a party on my taste buds and those guys were on the VIP list.

As I began to really think about what the important flavors were, I came to the conclusion that I actually didn’t care about the bagel part. I couldn’t omit anything besides that. And really, the bread just sucked the flavor away, and that’s just rude. So… in the words of my favorite song ever… Bye Bye Bye. I’d like to say this is just a joke, but I actually STILL thoroughly enjoy N’Sync and I apologize to no one for it.

I thought back to my favorite bagel lox sammich, which was from a little shop in NYC. DUH. Like it could be anywhere else. But, they had the delightful addition of fresh cucumber slices on their version and I can recall how much that thrilled me. And for this application, those cuckes were about to *become* my bagel! Bagel cucumber inception.

I like to skin off a bit of the cucumber to save on carbs, but it’s totally optional. I like the way it looks and adds some fancy pants to the dish, but, also, like who cares. So do as you wish for this part.

Do not! I repeat, do NOT leave out that caper juice though. It really makes the whole salty, creamy thing that much better. Plus, the juice allows you to get a little air whipped in, and fluffy cream cheese is almost as good as a fluffy pillow. But significantly more delicious.

My FAVORITE part of these bagel-less cucumber bites is actually not even the fact that they’re another “Keto Incognito” and also gluten-free. But… they’re so pretty! Expect some serious Ooo’s and Ahh’s when you set down a tray of these babies on your Christmas breakfast table, or New Years brunch. Extra champagne in my mimosas, please and thanks!